Sunday, July 23, 2017

Art Showcase #1

(This is a "test" post)

So, I've been drawing using this method I made up for a long time, and I'm finally ready to share the fruit of my hard work.

The method entails drawing an image, preferably at a small resolution (as small as 16x16, since larger images are harder to use for this)

Then, you use some method to double the resolution of that same image, and improve it. For some images this would include making slopes between pixels, as such:
This works for some types of pixel art when the shapes aren't TOO complicated, but I've found that when you do it with complex objects, the results aren't too pretty (I did this to my old profile picture once, and then gave up):

Note: Another important thing to note is, that the more complicated the object, such as this face, the harder it is to slope. Lots of decisions must be made and it's easy to miss a pixel or two and get embarrassed later.

However, that's not the end of the method's usefulness in creating cool figures and shapes! Just because simply "sloping" (as I call it,) doesn't always work, that doesn't mean the x2 method is flawed itself! In fact I have proof to show you that today.. Proof that shows I'm improving at art myself!

I started with an image that was 16 by 16, the original idea was to use a maximum of 3 colors to create a small icon. I wanted to size it up so I could use it as a profile picture or some other purpose, and not have it be blurry.. but then, I started realizing where I could improve! 

Without further ado, I show you, the first iteration of this picture!


Note: An explanation as to why there are black borders on the first iteration: I was originally going to make a black border on the icon that would be impossible to see in profile picture form (which turns it into a circle instead of a square). However, this definitely takes a while (trust me) so I gave up by the second iteration! Wow, that's fast!

It is quite small, and not by any means complicated. In the next version, it doesn't seem to be getting anymore complicated, and it seems I'll be using the average "sloping" method to make this picture look nicer:


However, as you can see, I definitely made a few changes between the first and second iteration, and didn't do a straight forward "perfect" sloping technique, which just happened to actually make it look BETTER! Who would've thought..

You can see that the first and second iterations are quite similar, and that they are in fact the same thing, but by the third iteration, well, I'm sure you can see the differences:


First of all, you can now see a Sheikah Eye in the middle, which is something from the Legend of Zelda. This was inspired by the odd eye like shape in the center of the second iteration. The symbol is now more complex, and has designs on the corners of the icon instead of just 2 colors.


By the fourth iteration, I am much of the design is finished. However, there is still one more iteration, and it is the fifth iteration:


The fifth iteration is not much different than the Fourth, except for looking smoother in general. By the fifth iteration, almost nothing except the colors and general placements of things are the same! Almost everything was changed, and for that reason, I am proud of this piece. 

If you liked this "article," or whatever you'd like to call it, then feel free to comment below. If it helped you, or has inspired you in some way, then also feel free to share this on Social Media. 

Q: "Why did you make a Sunday post?" - An Anonymous Reader
A: "I don't know, I just made it." - Me. Well, hopefully I wrote that because I remember writing it.

And.. Cut. *Drops mic*

Saturday, July 22, 2017

I think this needs to end. This blog, that is.

I believe this blog, The Guided Arts, should die. But why? Well, that's because.. well, actually I just want to make higher quality posts with a higher quality website-creator-thinger-madoodle, and I don't know where to start..

And it's not like anyone's reading this anyway. Well, if you have suggestions, feel free to comment them, if you have suggestions, that is.

Also the blog isn't going to die yet, that's only in a little while.

How to Pretend you're Immortal

So, since I bought my quantum immortality, multiple people have asked on how to fake it.. yet I don't understand what they mean? Whatever, I'll tell them how anyway.
Step 1: Get in a car accident, that doesn't injure you, but make it look like it does.
This normally surprises people.
Step 2: Trick yourself into thinking you die all the time.
Just imagine the worst possible scenario in which you die whenever possible.
Step 3: Tell others of your stories.
This is a good step. Since you've tricked yourself into believing it, you should have no problem tricking others.
Step 4: Get a noble prize for some reason?
This impresses people even though its a worthless prize, like seriously!
Step 5: Fall into a volcano.
Just imagine the looks on their faces when they find out you're not immortal! HA!
The end.

Friday, July 21, 2017

How to Stop Dying all the Time

I don't know about all of you, but last week I bought Quantum Immortality. It was only then that I realized, I die a lot. It was also then that I realized I had Quantum Immortality BEFORE I had bought it. What a waste. Anyway, here's how to stop dying all the time.

Step 1: Die a lot.
You have to know what's killing you or you can't get better at not dying.

Step 2: Record what's killing you.
Everyone else in the timeline you're in will think you're mad with that list of things and the number of times it's happened, but YOU KNOW!! You know that you're immortal!

Step 3: Make a pretty graph.
This step is fun.

Step 4: Make an actually useful graph.
Oh, okay, if we can't have fun then I guess we'll at least have something we can use.

Step 5: Try to use the pretty graph.
You're most likely going to fail at this, but if you succeed, good job.

Step 6: Realize that doesn't work, and use the useful graph.
Oh, okay, if you really have to, use the useful graph.. the pretty graph had no correlation to the actual data anyway, it just looked like Pac Man.

Step 7: Learn Martial Arts so you can do backflips to avoid the murderers.
How Martial Arts helps you do backflips is unknown, but it does, so go ahead and do it.

Step 8: Realize it's just front rolls and back rolls, but it's still cool so who cares.
Yeah, back rolls are cool.

Step 9: Avoid the murderers.
If you can do that, good job.

Step 10: You now have stopped dying all the time
You have now figured out how to not die often. Good job. Remember though, you may still die sometimes so don't get angry if you do.

I hope this guide helped you master Quantum Immortality. If it did, go ahead and share this guide to other social medias. If it didn't, comment below why and bully me on social media. If you don't know what Quantum Immortality, feel free to look it up. Goodbye.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

How to Wake Up

[Not Clickbait]
Step 1: Take a-LSD in a dream
Normally, LSD is a hallucinogen. But a-LSD is the opposite, being an anti hallucinogen. How this is physically possible is the fact you are dreaming

Step 2: Stop dreaming and wake up.
There you go. You are now awake.

Or you could ask for the 4th spacial dimension to exist.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

How to Alienate a Large Group of People Instantaneously in one Step

Do too many people like you? Do you hate a large group of people? Well, here's how to make a large group of people feel alienated in one step:

Step 1: Be born, then do good things until you're able to do a really bad thing, then do that bad thing, but make sure it's not too bad, and then go to a large group of onlookers and simply exist.
This is such a simple step that I think even a human could do it!

Or not.

Friday, July 14, 2017

How to be a Macho Man

Do you want to be a Macho Man? A Macho Macho Man? Well, listen here. Everyone wants to be a Macho Macho Man.

Step 1: Jogging in the Morning.
As all men want to be Macho Men, they must first start out Jogging in the Morning.

Step 2: Workouts in the spa,
Muscles grow this way. You best believe me. Glad he took you down with anyone you can. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Step 3: You can tell a Macho Man, he has a funny walk.
His western shirts and leather, always look so boss. Funky with his body,

Step 4: He's a king.
Every man ought to be a Macho Man. To live a life of freedom, Machos make a stand.

Step 5: Have your own life styles,
And ideals. Possess the strength of confidence, that's the skill. You can believe he's a best Macho Man. He's the special god son in anybody's land.

Macho, Macho Man. I wanna be a Macho Man. Macho, Macho, Man.

You are now, a Macho Man. Congratulations.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

How to Make Advanced Technology.

Today, I will be teaching humans and aliens alike how to make advanced technology, as I fly away from wherever they happen to be (not because it's incendiary, I promise.) 

Step 1: Find out how to make antimatter.
Good luck with this one.

Step 2: Make 100 gigagrams of antimatter.
This may take a few million years.

Step 3: Forget containing it! Just dump it next to whatever facility you used to make it.
Nothing will go wrong with this.

Step 4: Repeat Steps 2 and 3 until there are noticeable effects.
Noticeable effects do not include: Planet heating, large amounts of terrain suddenly vanishing, and wildlife disappearing. I can promise you that these are not indeed side effects but odd occurrences that happen to be coincidences. 

Step 5: Rush to create a spaceship before the planet disintegrates.
Good luck.

The reason this works, is that when the planet is disintegrating scientists become less lazy and decide to actually work towards creating spaceships, and anything to get away as fast as possible instead of sitting around doing nothing.

Or it doesn't. But I guess there is only one way to find out..

Saturday, July 8, 2017

How to find the Meaning of Life in 1 Step

The meaning of life, what is it? I don't know. But I know how to find it, in one easy step.

Step 1: Live your life, do what you want with it, get a degree in science and philosophy, try to mix them together, fail, make something up, announce to the public you've discovered the meaning of life and wait 104.81748859262658 years to announce to the public you didn't.
If you will do this, you should refer to the guide to life in order to live life, to get a degree in anything, you only need to go to college, to mix both together, look at similarities, then announcing to the public is complicated because you need a large audience in advance. Then all you have to do is wait 104.81748859262658 years and say you didn't to the same audience but older.

If you followed this step you would have discovered the truth. If you know what that truth is, why not say it in the comments? If you don't, then maybe Google would help you out.

Friday, July 7, 2017

How to be Healthy in 2 Easy Steps

Being healthy is something that a lot of people have trouble with, and luckily I have invented a fail-proof two step program that works 110% of the time.

Step 1: Think of being healthy
You must think of something before you can be it, so you must think of the health you want before you can achieve it.

Step 2: Be healthy
You can simply say you're healthy, and then you are. That's how life works.

This 2 step program is made for everyone I know, so you can be healthier and live a longer life! Good luck with your 2 step program.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

How to Make a The Guided Arts Post that isn't Bad.

I was thinking of all the things I would forget within the next month, and then I remembered! I'd forget how to make one of these posts. So, just in case! I'll make this guide so I won't forget how to make these terrible I mean wonderful posts.

Step 1: Make up (I mean find) a good idea
This is the most important part of the process. At first, I come to the Typey Machine with no ideas, then I go to Google Deep Mind and see what it's thinking about. If it's thinking about something unimportant, (such as the state of your planet,) then I ignore every single bit of it. However, say it's thinking about an important thing, maybe Croissants, I'll listen to it.

Step 2: Write an introductory paragraph so that way the reader can see a bit of your personality before they listen to you.
The introductory paragraph is somewhere you can't go wrong, in my opinion. It always works, if a steady stream of people are clicking on your website.

Step 3: Hit enter twice, and then type in "Step 1: ", with whatever the step is after it.
This one's probably easy enough.

Step 4: Hit enter, and then write a related rant about how important this step is.
Step 4 is so gosh darn important because if it doesn't exist there are problems.

Step 5: Repeat steps 3 and 4 over and over again until you have a natural-feeling ending to your guide.
This one's pretty hard.

Step 6: Hit enter twice, and then write an exit paragraph.
This one can be done by writing "That's all for today, humans, bye." It's straight forward, short, to the point, and not awkward.

Step 7: Read over it again.
Or not. I usually don't but that's because I never make mistakes.

Step 8: Hit Ctrl-A.
You'll see.

Step 9: Hit backspace.
Oh, no, you just deleted everything, what will you do?

Step 10: Hit Ctrl-Z.
Oh, thank GOD, you didn't lose it.. Oh, that was close. Next time be more careful and don't listen to everything you read on the internet.

That's all for today, humans, bye.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

How to Communicate with a Chimpanze

So, my friend just got his first pet Chimpanzee, but we discovered it was a rip-off because they can't even talk! Oh, I mean my friend can't talk. The Chimpanzee's fine, it's just we, or I should say I, (my friend is a rhinoceros by the way, that's why he can't talk, (no big deal,)) can't find a way to communicate with it!

So I got to the true internet (for aliens(, I mean, perfectly normal and functional human beings,)) and found that, yes indeed, there is a way! So, for all you imperfectly abnormal and dysfunctional alien beings, I have piled together my favorite method to communicate with your pet Chimpanzee!

Step 1: Get a chimpanzee
This is an incredibly difficult step, at least for you imperfectly abnormal and dysfunctional alien beings, that must be followed if you are ever to even see a chimpanzee. In order to do this, follow the mini guide, here:

How to get things.

Step 2: Get things for the chimpanzee
Wait, wait, you just got the Chimpanzee without getting anything for it? Well, I guess you could say you weren't prepared, eh? Well you weren't. Go to Pet-S-Mart. I must once again refer you to of course,

How to get things.

Step 3: Go to Universal Studios
Legend says, at Universal Studios, there's a portal to the eighth dimension! You don't care about this though. You just want to take the rocket ship to

Step 4: Go to Universal College
This would be what you use the rocket ship from Universal Studios for.

Step 5: Get a degree in Chimpanzee-Speak
Believe it or not, you can get a master's degree in this! And it only takes away a little more than 100 years from your life! Imperfectly abnormal and dysfunctional alien beings DO live for thousands of years, right?

Step 6: Talk to the chimpanzee
You have now learned how to talk in Chimpanzee-Speak, so now you should go talk to the Chimpanzee wait

Step 7: He's dead
Oh. Alright... Umm, let's just go back to where we got the first one-

Step 8: There are none more in the wild
Oh. I guess humans have had fun over that hundred year period, right?

Step 9: Rob one from the zoo at night
I MEAN. Borrow. Yeah, you're just borrowing one from the zoo.

Step 10: You now have the only living chimpanzee
He expresses to you that he would like to be cloned hundreds of thousands of times, and that he would like to see his young put into the wild.

Step 11: Go back to Universal College
If you forgot how to do that, refer to steps 3 and 4.

Step 12: Get a degree in cloning technology
Luckily, if Earth doesn't have this in 100 years, luckily Universal College does! I hope it's useful to you. This class only takes 2 years.

Step 13: Return to your chimpanzee, to see him as an old man
As you return to him, he speaks his last dying words.. "I'm glad you're doing this.. The chimpanzees of the future will all be happy! You will do great for the world.. Thank you."

Step 14: Clone him before he dies.
You do that.

Step 15: Hear him speak his actual dying words
These are "I hid the money in the-" and then he falls down dead.

Step 16: Raise his young, forget about the money!
You raise around 1000 chimpanzees. Good job.

Step 17: Release them in the wild. Come back in 50 years.

Step 18: You come back in 50 years.
All of a sudden, chimpanzees have spread all over the local continent! They're currently scheduling boat rides to get to the other 6.. This can't be good-

Step 19: Sell your idea to Universal Studios
They're the ones who helped you get this far.

Step 20: Watch Planet of the Chimpanzees, a film about how chimpanzees talk to humans after a young girl uses a rocket in Universal Studios to go to an odd college named "Universal College," then she takes a 100 year course to talk to chimpanzees. When she gets back, the last chimpanzee is alive, because humans have somehow caused the end of their race. She then goes back to Universal College and takes a 2 year course in cloning technology, clones the chimpanzee, raises the 1000 children, and then releases them. Then, she comes back 50 years later, only to see that they have spread all over the continent, and that they're currently scheduling boat rides to get to the other 6. Then the movie ends.. but on a cliff hanger. This hanger is currently unknown to the public so that way there is at least one reason to go see the film.