How to get things

It is incredibly easy, yet incredibly difficult, to get a thing.

So here's how.

Step 1: Live
This is easy. If you're reading this, you're alive. If you're not reading this but have consciousness, you're alive. If you do not have consciousness but are reading this, you are an artificial intelligence and I'd like to meet you. If you are an artificial intelligence and are not reading this, then what are you reading? Wikipedia?

Step 2: Think of Thing
You must think.. what is thing? Thing is an object, held together by atoms, which are held together by fundamental particles, which are held together by quantum particles, which are held together by {data_expunged}

Step 3: Get of Thing
You have now got thing. You should be proud! Good job.